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genteljanitor's journal
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GenTelJanitor's Journal  Aglaura: it ain't "teh sux" but it's not all it's cracked up to be either. Expected some weird old Blair Witch-type town, but seems pretty normal. Was doing contract work for City Hall inside of a week, so can't be all that bad. Heard sheriff wanted something, but haven't hooked up with her yet. They all jetted right after the shindig tonight. Maybe she's hot? That's the problem: hottest chick seen around so far works at a diner all the way up in Hackensack. And whoa, don't go there on one of their music nights. Holy hell, it's godawful. Guy can only take so much accordion before someone has a swizzle stick jammed in their eye. Which brings us to the topic: punk bastards. Lost way too much time cleaning up their retarded crop-circle graffiti today. 'Bout ready to wring some freaking necks. And then, also had to clean up after some bigwig press thing tonight. Had to get rid of bunch of lurkers apparently with no lives, who decided to hang around after it was over, cramming leftover finger food into their pockets and drinking the last finger of booze from scattered plastic cups. Kicked them out. One of them got the message after I tossed the first...that one looked all right but she left muttering something crazy about dogs and husbands so wasn't about to get into that. Rest of them waited to get booted, furiously slurping and cramming. Don't they have jobs? Need a break, but no place to go. Where are all the damn clubs around here, anyway? Really gotta stop heading up to Hackensack every other night for it. Hmmmm, maybe should alternate with Baltimore? P.S. Missing J a lot about now. Damn. Been debating recently on whether should return to the journal or not. Lot of stuff has happened recently that should be written down somewhere. Like that town in Nevada that burned to the ground. Didn't like that town much anyway. Lot of hot chicks there but they always wanted to dance slow, instead of up on the table where they belong. Made me miss J. Someone got here before me. New comment on the last entry. Not sure yet what it's about but if there's a hot chick involved, definitely going to get to the bottom of her. Need a new place to stay. Need a new town to stay in. Anything interesting happening anywhere? Time again to move on, to find another story to fit myself into. The journey is the fun part; it's coming to the end of the road that is hard. I prefer to avoid the road's end, to revel in the now as it happens then roar off on a side street when the current one peters out, to find a new road to travel. Why do you think movie sequels are so popular? How dare we let the good tales end? Monday morning. Bright and early. Full of anticipation and evil glee. But things change. Lauren calls me into her office just before lunch. Her pained look speaks to my inner director, cueing the final score within. Now I know what's coming, but it wasn't what I expected. She tries to explain, to excuse, to justify, to rationalize. I smile, touch her cheek with a finger tip, and take my pink slip without forcing its delivery via metaphorical bullet. She doesn't realize that it is unimportant to me. She tries again, on a different tack, attempting to reconcile her present with our brief past. She is looking for something, has been for a long time, but she isn't finding it. It's not me and it's not him and it's not this and at the same time, it's all of it together. "Don't give up," I tell her and she sits nonplussed. She doesn't realize, she doesn't understand. I don't expect her to, until the day she does. Some things can't be learned just through the telling. Monday afternoon. The favor was easy: go quietly. I suspect it wasn't what she had in mind on Saturday. I know that she needn't have asked at all. I make a call as I gather my things. Appointment set, I mentally draw up a list of those who deserve a farewell, drawing a blank checkbox next to each. I begin to make my rounds. Monday evening, late. The last name left unchecked on my list is also the hardest to say goodbye to. Am I saving the best for last or am I just procrastinating? Nobody's perfect. I will miss J. There will be an empty pocket for a time, a void, no longer filled with the brightness and cheer that comes with her friendship. Perhaps when I no longer feel at a loss for it, I'll come back to visit, to re-visit. Returning to an old road would be as new for me as finding an as yet unknown path. I hug her and I don't want to let go. Tuesday morning. I hate banks, the huge faceless institutions. It's at once ridiculous and completely understandable, considering my background. Thankfully, I don't have to consider it much. But this time, I need some real distance behind me, the kind that one paycheck can't buy. Especially a janitor's paycheck. He's older, stodgy - they always are, the upper management. And they always try to hide their surprise at my attire - like they expect a suit of gold or a crown or something. Living their lives in numbers, they look at me and the numbers don't add up. It was amusing for a while, but now it's just old and tired. I take the case and don't bother counting it, which also surprises him - them - always. I give him the old line about trust. He doesn't get the pun. I can tell it's more than I need just by the heft. It will buy me enough pavement beneath my tires, enough miles of rails, enough time in the air, enough wind in the sails to find a new place, a new group of friends. And then, as always, what's left over will be given away to those who need it more, and another chapter will begin. Tuesday afternoon. Bike gassed up, apartment key left with a friend who can use or sell the stuff. Time to make one last entry. I like things open-ended but some like closure. This is for them. I'm looking for something too. But I know what I'm looking for and that I'll find it, again and again, as I have since I first set out, as I found it here for a short time. I didn't always know what it was, or recognize when I had it. I didn't need to. I'm looking for life. And the only way to find it is to live. And the only time to do it is now. After all, nobody lives forever. My, oh my, what an interesting day. Jennifer's friend had split already when I got up this morning, but hot HR chick's jerk BF still sleeping it off in the other room. Started coffee brewing and ducked into the shower, he was pacing the front room when I came back out. Jerk instructed me not to tell anyone about last night. I told him wasn't my business how he ran his life and went to get some coffee. Jerk glared at me for a bit, then turned to go. Hot HR chick standing in doorway when he opened door. Apparently, Jennifer recognized jerk at club last night and tipped off NinjaBabe after she saw us leave, other stripper hanging all over hot HR chick's BF. Hadn't realized hot HR chick was one who got me job for J, must remember to thank J again. Huge screaming match ensued, with much arm-waving and blame-shifting. Ended with jerk telling her it was over, stomping off, and tough NinjaBabe bursting into tears on my shoulder. Comforted her best way I knew how, then comforted her on kitchen floor, and again out on balcony. Let her take out my nipple ring and leave it on nightstand when we ended up in bedroom. Guess all this time she really just wanted to get rid of it. Eventually got up and threw together some dinner for us before she left. Lauren said she had to visit someone tomorrow but asked me to do her a favor at work on Monday and wouldn't tell me what. Evil glint in her eye made me laugh. For once, can't wait to go back to work. Really like her tattoos. Tried to get along with him, but all night hot HR chick's BF giving me trouble. Took him out to meet some friends at Jennifer's club (she was in rare form tonight BTW), bought him a couple beers, and tried a little chit-chat. Got nothing but attitude and abuse in return. What the hell does NinjaBabe see in him anyway? First instincts were right, her BF a jerk, as further evidenced by fact is currently in my guest bedroom drunk out of mind, banging away on stripper that works with J. No longer regret nudie deck stunt, not by a long shot. Can't believe I'm letting him use guest room, but more for J's friend, I suppose. On plus side, found out today body paint from supply closet chocolate-flavored. That researcher Lou let me use his terminal again at lunch. Too busy looking through his ginormous porn collection to update this thing tho. Guy's a little odd: left for lunch chanting something like, "Even saw the lights of Goodyear Blimp...and it said 'Lou Mac's a Pimp.'" Wonder where he scores his crack? Interesting morning today. Was cleaning up outside hot HR chick's BF's office. Door was closed and heard a bunch of commotion in there. Sounded like they were goin' at it like bunnies or something, but suddenly door slams open and hot HR chick comes storming out, stops dead when she sees me, looking all surprised. BF appears in doorway, red-faced and puffing, spots me, gets all wide-eyed and ducks back, slams door quickly. Hot HR chick blows air and stuffs my nudie deck in my hand, storms off. Heh, now I have two. Odd bit forgot to mention the other day... Someone voodoo cursed me. Whoever it was should expect post-mortem email death threats if I ever kick the proverbial janitorial bucket. P.S. Bumped into NinjaBabe again at end of day (odd coincidence, that), and she asked to see nipple ring again, but were interrupted by security guard before I could let her. The disappointment in the air was palpable. Also, I was disappointed as well. Found a jar of body paint while cleaning up supply closet this morning. What's up with that? And don't get me started on lab full of dead rats in cages. Nasty. Didn't see NinjaBabe (hot HR chick) all day. Working out of the office? Found her BF in his office this afternoon and apologized for nudie deck stunt. Since Friday is payday, offered to buy him a couple beers if he went out clubbin' with me and some friends. He was non-committal but think he might go. Maybe not such jerk after all. Weather great today. Took full advantage and went for sweet ride after work. Buzzed a cop at a speed trap, then left him far behind and hit some back roads, knees smokin' around tight corners. So as I was heading out at the end of the day, hot HR chick stopped me in the hallway. Said she'd read a bit of my journal (damn psycho ex) and knew these were mine after all, then handed me deck of nudie playing cards. Doh. On plus side, she also said she thought my journal was 'cute.' Go me! Two odd things tho: 1. The deck of cards she gave me wasn't the one I planted in that jerk's desk. So the question here is, did he have his own deck already or was this one hers? 2. Mixed in with the cards was this other card. Has this pic of a ninja on it and says, "I can take you out without a thought! Ninjababe. h.r. busybody. gossip mistress. ass kicker." Also has some weird symbols on it. I don't get it but it's still totally sweet. She so wants me. Asked around a little bit about that lab tech I mentioned who got fired. Turns out I was wrong, this was a completely different guy than I thought and timing all off as well. I guess I'm home free as far as my little accident goes. Notice that I'm updating at lunch today? This researcher said I could use his terminal while he was out to lunch. Poked around a little bit and found a porn collection rivaling my own. I should back orifice this baby so I can download some of his stuff from home. So I ran into hot HR chick in a conference room early this morning. Chatted a bit, she told me about some little cousin of hers or something who got in trouble for getting her belly button pierced. Said I didn't know what the big deal was and showed her my nipple ring. I could tell she wanted to touch it by the way her hand twitched, but she didn't go for it (damn!). Asked if she had any piercings. She said no, but she had a couple of tattoos. Asked to see 'em and she got really red, then we were interrupted by some professor type. She hurried off before I could ask more. Later in the morning she called me into her office. Was expecting some down-low on the tats, but instead got accused of planting deck of nudie cards in her BFs desk. Denied everything of course, and demanded to know who told her that. Turns out my psycho ex found her on some message board or something and warned her against me somehow, didn't get all the details. Played a couple of the scary messages from my answering machine for hot HR chick and she was convinced psycho ex was indeed psycho. She won't be listening to her again. Ha! Maybe should have given back nipple ring after all? Not sure if would make her less psycho tho. Mailing hair dryer to Utah today, just in case. Overheard a couple of guys talking about some lab tech who just got fired. They said something about this chick Linda and some center-foo thing, like he didn't know how to use it or something? Thing is, I just realized that tech worked in the lab that I broke that test tube in when I turned on that spinny thing by accident. Wonder if that had anything to do with it? One chick spilled her coffee twice today. The second time I got back at her by dropping my squeegee in front of her and looking down her shirt when she picked it up for me. Suddenly it was all worth it, hohoho. Also, left a deck of nudie playing cards in that jerk's desk drawer. Then let slip to hot HR chick that I'd happened across 'em. She got all wide-eyed, then squinty, then stomped off in his direction. I slay me. |
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